I had some frustrations that happened back in December and led to our current situation. During our testing, we found out that I was not immune to the rubella vaccination in the MMR that I received at a child and would either need to get the vaccination again, or sign a waiver with the fertility clinic. Of course I don’t want to put any potential child at risk, so I made an appointment at my primary care doctor. After a horrible experience, we had to wait 30 days before starting any cycle. Since my body came to the point where we would have to start a cycle before the 30 days, we have to wait until by body reaches that point the next time.

Baby,

I think about you almost every day and I hope and pray that I will be able to meet you one day. I have times that I fear that I will never get to experience motherhood and get to see you grow, learn and become the amazing person that I know you will be. Your father is very nervous about lots of things right now and is mostly nervous about money and owning our own house that we can raise you in. We both moved a lot when we were growing up and we want to be able to gift you a home that you can come back to when you grow up and live your own adult life. We are working on that right now too, but I hope that we can find out you are coming soon, since we have no idea how much longer we will have to wait. What I do know is that every second is worth it and you are very much loved already. I hope I will be able to treat you the way you deserve and I have been planning and getting myself ready for it already.

Mommy